And away we go…

In Uncategorized on June 25, 2012 at 9:03 pm

So tomorrow is the surgery.  I’m ready to have it behind me, to start the healing process and to know that I have done everything in my power to combat these BRCA genes for now.  While I am not nervous about the surgeries themselves, I still find myself fixated on the ways in which I will change post surgery.  How being thrust into menopause will effect me, how it will effect the MS.  But I am trying to keep my eye on the prize.

I was speaking to a friend recently who brought up the fact that I had opted for the most aggressive treatment in regards to these genes, and it occurred to me that I was never given an alternative.  All three of my surgeons said this was what I needed to do to ensure my survival, so I’m doing it.  I asked every question imaginable, read up on these genes to the point that I could have an advanced degree in hereditary cancer genes, and I am comfortable and secure in the fact that this was the only way to proceed.  Of course, I keep trying to explain that to my boobs and my ovaries and they just look at me like I’m bat-shit crazy.  Well to hell with them, I won’t see them after tomorrow anyway…

This is the deal, to proceed in hopes of living a long, healthy, fulfilled life.  I figure with how much I am losing over the next 24 hours, I’m making lots of room for new things.  Things like Alaska and Israel with my kid, and seeing him graduate from college and med school (please, please, please).  Things like riding a mechanical bull, and working on 8 plays next season.  Things like a crazy big love which up until now I had only seen as a thing of the past- but what the hell, I mean there’s going to be LOTS of room after all.

Other than that, I haven’t much to say today, except this.  I am incredibly grateful that I have so many people who love me and who have my back.  Along the way, sitting in doctor’s offices, waiting for mammograms, MRIs and blood work I have met a lot of women who have readily shared their stories with me and some of them had no one to take care of them.  I spoke to a woman who opted not to have chemotherapy post mastectomy because she had no one to help her.  No matter how hard things have gotten I have had so many people here to pick me up, dust me off and set me right again that I feel I won’t live long enough to thank them.

And to my family–I know how hard it is to be the person in the waiting room- we have all spent more time in them than should be allotted in one lifetime, so let’s make a pact to take a break from operating rooms and waiting rooms for awhile after this go-around.  BRCA genes be damned.

This will likely be the last entry for at least two weeks, but I’m sure I’ll have plenty to report and pictures for show and tell.  Until then…

  1. Amy I wish you the best of luck and my thoughts are with you. xo ❤
    Danielle Wager Farkas

  2. Amy Amy Amy He made her out of clay, Amy Amy Amy will have new boobies in 1 day. I love you Amilah. You are my hero. Here’s to hot surgeons and “biting your lip!” (heehee)

    • Seriously, with the lip biting. And my super hot surgeon just called me to see how I’m feeling. Talk about lip biting!

      • pictures of the surgeon please. It’s the least you could do for your devoted blog readers. Okay, okay, we’ll wait till you recover a little bit first.

  3. Amy you willbe in my thoughts. Hoping for a fast recovery and comfort for you. Can’t wait to see you again! November? Love love love you!

  4. Best wishes for your surgery and a quick recovery.

  5. Though I don’t know you personally, my thoughts are with you! I hope everything goes well with your surgery and I’m looking forward to reading more once you’re out and able to blog again.

  6. Let the healing begin!!!
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family…
    Hugs, Edna, David and Evan

  7. Good luck Amy! I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending you good thoughts!
    -Leigh (Aimee’s friend)

  8. Love and sincere respect to you, Amy. Thinking of you so much. All the people in the waiting room are encouraged if not overwhelmed by your courage and insight. Will be grateful for more posts from you as soon as you are able. Heal fast. Love Liz

  9. Amy! It’s Steve/Stevie Blue… Aimee’s b/f in San Fran. I just saw the link Aimee posted on her Facebook. Wanted to wish you luck. I’ll be thinking of you and getting updates from Aimee!

  10. i AM a little later on the uptake having had not a minute to check online today. ANd i am typing this through a haze of tears, spaghetti and, if I am being honest my second glass of red wine. HEY! It’s been a hell of day. Anyway, i just love you so much, and am thinking of you. I am so lucky you are my friend. What an exceptional woman you are. See ya soon, bizitch!

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